Sir, With much correspondence, I have hired myself a typewriting maid. It may be imagined that I permit her to work in this manner to prevent ink spoiling her clothing. Not so. I offered her an extra penny an hour if she might type out my letters whilst
Sir, Lady B___ is most pleased with our new maid, who cleans diligently and does not steal nor shirk. I too am most pleased with our new hire. On receipt of an extra shilling, she do work sans vêtements on Fridays whilst Lady B___ is away.
Sir, In this modern age I feel we have lost sight of the origins of All Hallows Eve, to whit : devil worship and punishing naked servants. Fortunately, I run a very traditional estate where traditional rituals are strictly observed.
Sir, Ensure all staff know safe use of ladders! One of my maids fell from a height when an improperly latched stepladder collapsed under her. With a broken arm she was unable to resume cleaning duties and following her dismissal, it took me some consider
Sir, I was shocked to learn of the recent mis-use of our club's fine Byron room. Patrons are kindly reminded that if you bring whores, strumpets or doxies into our establishment, will you please place a doily beneath them BEFORE you commence rogering th
Sir, I have often contemplated that the fairer sex of foreign lands do so often dress in a mysterious and attractive way that is so rarely seen at home.
Sir, The groundskeeper do ask for an assistant with some minor maintenance. I am loathe to hire extra staff,and so I send maid Gertie along. It is the 18__'s and I respect modern equality. With my training rule "make a mistake,clothing off you take",
Sir, Maid Eleanor did recently avert embarrassment when Lady B__ found her naked with me. Eleanor explained her clothes were in the wash & she had no other to wear. As reward for quick thinking, I exchanged Eleanor's straw sack with a proper bed. El
Upon presenting myself to the sun room for a fine breakfast, I discovered not one rasher of bacon upon the platter. It seems the cook's uniforms had not been returned from the laundry, and she did not wish to damage herself while cooking. She was able,
Sir, please supply two of the gutta-percha flapdoodles as illustrated. I enclose a Postal Order made up with the stamps of Her Majesty to the value of 4/-
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sir, In Another Place, a question was raised as to where one might see erotic depictions from the 1600's. I have spent a pleasant evening's research in my library, and can provide this pleasant painting from 1590 of a lady who has much to show us.
Sir, It is said that at this cold time of year when provisions are low, that altruism is a saintly virtue to be rewarded in heaven. However, I offered maid Susan sixpence and a half sack of coal, and I was greatly rewarded that very evening.
