Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sirs, With great anxiety I must request that you rush me an appropriate quantity of the Date Mate 1900 Pheromonotic liquid. Please understand that I request this product for scientific reasons alone. I enclose 10d postal order plus carriage.
Sir, please supply two of the gutta-percha flapdoodles as illustrated. I enclose a Postal Order made up with the stamps of Her Majesty to the value of 4/-
Sir, Today I receive a postcard from Gussy Herbert, who is currently in Egypt searching for lost treasures of the pharaohs. "I have uncovered some amazing finds", he writes, "You would not believe how many whores you can hire for a shilling". I raise
Sirs and Madames, following the great success of our club, I have instigated the renovation of the East Wing and specifically, the withdrawing room. I enclose an artist's impression as to it's decor and projected use, which I personally endorse.
Sir, Gussy Herbert do send me details of a secret Ladies-only club somewhere in Pall Mall. I find this shocking to deny the attendance of Men, especially as the activities therein do appear most fascinating.
Sir, Maid Dottie do sometimes play upon an evening, but there is much displeasure from my guests as to her skill. After some discussion with my maid, we reach a solution that is most amenable to all. Some of my guests cannot now cease watching Dottie pla
Darling Emma, I am surging along with your life blood, coursing through the secret places of your body. I wish to escape from you but I am harried from place to place in my thots. I cannot escape from the rhythmic spurt of your love juice.
Sir, Lord Shaftesbury do visit, and is taken aback when served by my new maid from the colonies. He says some unpleasantness, believing her to be in some way inferior, which I am quick to dispute. I arrange a compatison with another maid, and Lord S soon
Sir, an enquiry. Some few weeks past, I did place an order for medicinal herbs from the Empire by packet post. Having waited the allotted "28 weeks for delivery", all I have received is this postcard which assures that delivery is imminent. Have I lost
Sir, Ensure all staff know safe use of ladders! One of my maids fell from a height when an improperly latched stepladder collapsed under her. With a broken arm she was unable to resume cleaning duties and following her dismissal, it took me some consider
Sir, a maid had to leave my employ most suddenly, and so I was seeking a speedy replacement. I requested some particulars from the agency, and one candidate had enclosed a photolithograph. Do you know, I think she will be just perfect for the position.
Sir, With much correspondence, I have hired myself a typewriting maid. It may be imagined that I permit her to work in this manner to prevent ink spoiling her clothing. Not so. I offered her an extra penny an hour if she might type out my letters whilst
