Sir, I out to the furniture emporium, to purchase a chaise longue for Lady B___. Upon its delivery, I am most anxious as to it's comfort. I enlist Maid Ellie to advise me as to it's skin feel. "How do you mean, sir?" she enquires.
Sir, to-day I do receive a flyer advertising a special show at the Parisian Club performed by Pierre Acrobatique and his assistants. I cancel tonight's theatre with Lady B___ and hasten to the club. I have always been something of a ballet aficionado.
Sir, As winter sets in, the fires do remain lit throughout the day and late into the night. I instruct staff to tend frequently to the fires. It is a dirty job, to which Maid Elspeth has a most enlightened solution. I do heartily encourage other maids to
Sir, It is said that at this cold time of year when provisions are low, that altruism is a saintly virtue to be rewarded in heaven. However, I offered maid Susan sixpence and a half sack of coal, and I was greatly rewarded that very evening.
Sir, Lady B___ complains at length that her looking-glass be all distorted. I at once do attend to the problem. With Maid Hettie assisting, I spend 2 hours, perhaps more, diligently studying the mirror glass from all angles, but have to declare that it i
Sir, Lord Shaftesbury do visit, and is taken aback when served by my new maid from the colonies. He says some unpleasantness, believing her to be in some way inferior, which I am quick to dispute. I arrange a compatison with another maid, and Lord S soon
Sir, an enquiry. Some few weeks past, I did place an order for medicinal herbs from the Empire by packet post. Having waited the allotted "28 weeks for delivery", all I have received is this postcard which assures that delivery is imminent. Have I lost
Sir, Maid Mary asks what it do be like to live a life of finery and extravagance. Now, it may be the 4 brandies expressing eloquence, but I do invite Mary upstairs to sample the life of her betters. She leaves her old life, and on my instruction, her clo
Sir, Gussy Herbert do send me details of a secret Ladies-only club somewhere in Pall Mall. I find this shocking to deny the attendance of Men, especially as the activities therein do appear most fascinating.
Sir, I was shocked to learn of the recent mis-use of our club's fine Byron room. Patrons are kindly reminded that if you bring whores, strumpets or doxies into our establishment, will you please place a doily beneath them BEFORE you commence rogering th
Sir, In Another Place, a question was raised as to where one might see erotic depictions from the 1600's. I have spent a pleasant evening's research in my library, and can provide this pleasant painting from 1590 of a lady who has much to show us.
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.