Sir, Tho' most unseemly to give gifts to lower orders, I have this fine print for maid Mary. She has been a most attentive maid, and pray she appreciates the story that plays out upon it. That of a master rogering the girl who brings him his dinner. I d
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sir, All Hallow's Eve is a traditional time for the servants to clean the chimneys. The imps and sprites are most active at this time and they do assist. I think it is nonsense of course, but I would not want to break a long-held belief among staff. I s
Sir, Lord Shaftesbury do visit, and is taken aback when served by my new maid from the colonies. He says some unpleasantness, believing her to be in some way inferior, which I am quick to dispute. I arrange a compatison with another maid, and Lord S soon
Sir, A tiring day admonishing servants for their wanton idleness. I retire to my library with a brandy. Lady B___ dislikes old books, which she insists serve no purpose except the gathering of dust. Yet there is so much to learn from studying the old tex
Sir, Today I receive a postcard from Gussy Herbert, who is currently in Egypt searching for lost treasures of the pharaohs. "I have uncovered some amazing finds", he writes, "You would not believe how many whores you can hire for a shilling". I raise
Sir, It is said that at this cold time of year when provisions are low, that altruism is a saintly virtue to be rewarded in heaven. However, I offered maid Susan sixpence and a half sack of coal, and I was greatly rewarded that very evening.
Sir, I well remember the controversy that I wrought when, upon taking stewardship of our historic gentlemen's club, I opened an area up to the feminine sex also. So it pleases me greatly to spend time within the Zeus room and to witness the great satisf
Sir, In this modern age I feel we have lost sight of the origins of All Hallows Eve, to whit : devil worship and punishing naked servants. Fortunately, I run a very traditional estate where traditional rituals are strictly observed.
Upon presenting myself to the sun room for a fine breakfast, I discovered not one rasher of bacon upon the platter. It seems the cook's uniforms had not been returned from the laundry, and she did not wish to damage herself while cooking. She was able,
Sir, please supply two of the gutta-percha flapdoodles as illustrated. I enclose a Postal Order made up with the stamps of Her Majesty to the value of 4/-
Sirs, With great anxiety I must request that you rush me an appropriate quantity of the Date Mate 1900 Pheromonotic liquid. Please understand that I request this product for scientific reasons alone. I enclose 10d postal order plus carriage.
Sir, I out to the furniture emporium, to purchase a chaise longue for Lady B___. Upon its delivery, I am most anxious as to it's comfort. I enlist Maid Ellie to advise me as to it's skin feel. "How do you mean, sir?" she enquires.
