Sir, my dearest wife has taken to spanking the maids with a paddle, in my heart I feel a sorrow for the maids as my dearest wife leaves the reddest of imprints and uses paddles of the hardest timber
Sir, With much correspondence, I have hired myself a typewriting maid. It may be imagined that I permit her to work in this manner to prevent ink spoiling her clothing. Not so. I offered her an extra penny an hour if she might type out my letters whilst
Upon presenting myself to the sun room for a fine breakfast, I discovered not one rasher of bacon upon the platter. It seems the cook's uniforms had not been returned from the laundry, and she did not wish to damage herself while cooking. She was able,
Sirs and Madames, following the great success of our club, I have instigated the renovation of the East Wing and specifically, the withdrawing room. I enclose an artist's impression as to it's decor and projected use, which I personally endorse.
Sir, please supply two of the gutta-percha flapdoodles as illustrated. I enclose a Postal Order made up with the stamps of Her Majesty to the value of 4/-
Sir, It is said that at this cold time of year when provisions are low, that altruism is a saintly virtue to be rewarded in heaven. However, I offered maid Susan sixpence and a half sack of coal, and I was greatly rewarded that very evening.
Darling Emma, I am surging along with your life blood, coursing through the secret places of your body. I wish to escape from you but I am harried from place to place in my thots. I cannot escape from the rhythmic spurt of your love juice.
Sir, In Another Place, a question was raised as to where one might see erotic depictions from the 1600's. I have spent a pleasant evening's research in my library, and can provide this pleasant painting from 1590 of a lady who has much to show us.
Sir, All Hallow's Eve is a traditional time for the servants to clean the chimneys. The imps and sprites are most active at this time and they do assist. I think it is nonsense of course, but I would not want to break a long-held belief among staff. I s
Sir, As winter sets in, the fires do remain lit throughout the day and late into the night. I instruct staff to tend frequently to the fires. It is a dirty job, to which Maid Elspeth has a most enlightened solution. I do heartily encourage other maids to
