Sirs and Madames, I most cordially welcome our new members who have arrived at the door of our club. All are welcome and I trust you will have an enjoyable stay here. I have instructed the maid to put extra coal on the fire for your comfort.
Sir, Maid Edith has only a hard wooden chair at home. I catch her admiring my soft luxurious furniture. "It do look such comfort to sit upon" she sighs. I offer to show how there is an even better way to enjoy it's softness and luxury against the skin
Sir, it most pleases me to share a photolithograph of my maid Rosie. She is most enthusiastic upon the gentlefolk inspecting her particulars. Daily, she is up at 4:30am to light my fire, I can postulate.
Sir, Lady B___ do insist on new drapes be fitted in her chamber, to prevent spying eyes from seeing her in a state of undress. I enlist maid Lina to help prove that no part of a naked body is visible through the drapes. This scientific experimentation do
My appointment as Foreign Office Deputy Secretary had hardly been published in the Gazette when I received an offer by this charming lady to take a position in my household. I must say, her references are as scant as her apparel, however I believe I shal
Sir, following a rewarding meeting with a comely lady,I receive an invitation to send a postal order for 20 shillings to personally receive photolithographs of an intimate nature. I tell Lady B___ that I am off for a stroll to the village. They have fine
Sir, Settling in my library with a glass of brandy, I read a volume purporting to predict the future. Within 150 years, electrical machinery shall revolutionize all manner of daily activity. Studying the illustration brings me great unease. I write to Si
Sir, I out to the furniture emporium, to purchase a chaise longue for Lady B___. Upon its delivery, I am most anxious as to it's comfort. I enlist Maid Ellie to advise me as to it's skin feel. "How do you mean, sir?" she enquires.
Sir, I recently sent a postal order for 3 guineas to an advertisement in the "personals" section of a gentleman's periodical. "Receive by return post,a photolithograph of a mistress most strict". I may have been hoodwinked.
Sir, Upon the morning's post I do receive a card from Herbert Gussy, who is currently visiting Bavaria. It appears a most welcoming country. I feel the urge to travel once more.
Maid Elsie tells me she wears a hat that she is unable to remove. "Can your other clothes be removed?" I ask. "Why yes sir", and she demonstrates. "But not your hat?" "No, sir." I suspect she has been at the Laudanum again.
Sir, The season for growing crops is upon us, and the villagers do fear the onslaught of pests that devour. Their ceremony to banish foes of foliage lasts a day and into the night. It is farcical, of course, but some aspects of it do have a cultural inte
