Sir, I out to the furniture emporium, to purchase a chaise longue for Lady B___. Upon its delivery, I am most anxious as to it's comfort. I enlist Maid Ellie to advise me as to it's skin feel. "How do you mean, sir?" she enquires.
Sir, a maid had to leave my employ most suddenly, and so I was seeking a speedy replacement. I requested some particulars from the agency, and one candidate had enclosed a photolithograph. Do you know, I think she will be just perfect for the position.
Sir, My philanthropy is widely known, but today I felt I could go further. With immediate effect I have instigated a penny increase in all female staff wages. Staff merely have to work naked to receive this bonus. (Subject to Lady B___'s absence)
Maid Elsie tells me she wears a hat that she is unable to remove. "Can your other clothes be removed?" I ask. "Why yes sir", and she demonstrates. "But not your hat?" "No, sir." I suspect she has been at the Laudanum again.
Will patrons of our fine club be on the lookout for the whereabouts of this blaggard. He calls himself a gentleman, but he is a mere greengrocer and he has been seducing my staff. A role that I should have exclusive rights to.
Sir, I recently sent a postal order for 3 guineas to an advertisement in the "personals" section of a gentleman's periodical. "Receive by return post,a photolithograph of a mistress most strict". I may have been hoodwinked.
Sir, A new system for "peer assessment" of staff comes to my attention. I am all for modern progress, but I do sometimes prefer the old ways. Or at least permit me to watch the proceedings.
Sir, following a rewarding meeting with a comely lady,I receive an invitation to send a postal order for 20 shillings to personally receive photolithographs of an intimate nature. I tell Lady B___ that I am off for a stroll to the village. They have fine
Sir, it most pleases me to share a photolithograph of my maid Rosie. She is most enthusiastic upon the gentlefolk inspecting her particulars. Daily, she is up at 4:30am to light my fire, I can postulate.
Sir, To town, where I meet with Lord Albermarle to visit a spiritualist medium lady. For a fee, she summons her spirit guide and contacts those who have passed on. Strange sensations, smells and apparitions are said to materialize. I present here lithogr
Sirs and Madames, I most cordially welcome our new members who have arrived at the door of our club. All are welcome and I trust you will have an enjoyable stay here. I have instructed the maid to put extra coal on the fire for your comfort.
Sir, Upon recommendation from Lord Southborough, I did employ the local wise woman to bring good fortune upon my estate. Visiting upon the evening of Beltane, she did perform a mysterious incantation. It is bunkum and hocus-pocus of course, but I did fin
