Sir, please supply two of the gutta-percha flapdoodles as illustrated. I enclose a Postal Order made up with the stamps of Her Majesty to the value of 4/-
Sirs, With great anxiety I must request that you rush me an appropriate quantity of the Date Mate 1900 Pheromonotic liquid. Please understand that I request this product for scientific reasons alone. I enclose 10d postal order plus carriage.
Sirs and Madames, following the great success of our club, I have instigated the renovation of the East Wing and specifically, the withdrawing room. I enclose an artist's impression as to it's decor and projected use, which I personally endorse.
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sir, Lady B___ is most pleased with our new maid, who cleans diligently and does not steal nor shirk. I too am most pleased with our new hire. On receipt of an extra shilling, she do work sans vêtements on Fridays whilst Lady B___ is away.
Sir, I out to the furniture emporium, to purchase a chaise longue for Lady B___. Upon its delivery, I am most anxious as to it's comfort. I enlist Maid Ellie to advise me as to it's skin feel. "How do you mean, sir?" she enquires.
Sir, Lord Shaftesbury do visit, and is taken aback when served by my new maid from the colonies. He says some unpleasantness, believing her to be in some way inferior, which I am quick to dispute. I arrange a compatison with another maid, and Lord S soon
Sir, Maid Mary asks what it do be like to live a life of finery and extravagance. Now, it may be the 4 brandies expressing eloquence, but I do invite Mary upstairs to sample the life of her betters. She leaves her old life, and on my instruction, her clo
Sir, I was shocked to learn of the recent mis-use of our club's fine Byron room. Patrons are kindly reminded that if you bring whores, strumpets or doxies into our establishment, will you please place a doily beneath them BEFORE you commence rogering th
Sir, Lady B___ complains at length that her looking-glass be all distorted. I at once do attend to the problem. With Maid Hettie assisting, I spend 2 hours, perhaps more, diligently studying the mirror glass from all angles, but have to declare that it i
Sir, Ensure all staff know safe use of ladders! One of my maids fell from a height when an improperly latched stepladder collapsed under her. With a broken arm she was unable to resume cleaning duties and following her dismissal, it took me some consider
Sir, A tiring day admonishing servants for their wanton idleness. I retire to my library with a brandy. Lady B___ dislikes old books, which she insists serve no purpose except the gathering of dust. Yet there is so much to learn from studying the old tex
Sir, my dearest wife has taken to spanking the maids with a paddle, in my heart I feel a sorrow for the maids as my dearest wife leaves the reddest of imprints and uses paddles of the hardest timber
