Sir, my dearest wife has taken to spanking the maids with a paddle, in my heart I feel a sorrow for the maids as my dearest wife leaves the reddest of imprints and uses paddles of the hardest timber
Sir, please supply two of the gutta-percha flapdoodles as illustrated. I enclose a Postal Order made up with the stamps of Her Majesty to the value of 4/-
Sir, an enquiry. Some few weeks past, I did place an order for medicinal herbs from the Empire by packet post. Having waited the allotted "28 weeks for delivery", all I have received is this postcard which assures that delivery is imminent. Have I lost
Darling Emma, I am surging along with your life blood, coursing through the secret places of your body. I wish to escape from you but I am harried from place to place in my thots. I cannot escape from the rhythmic spurt of your love juice.
Sir, I note that Christmas preparations start earlier every year. I have already hired extra staff for Yule. With servant quarters most full, I barrack the new staff unto the stables, which I fear may be not to their liking. But their shouts of joy, hear
On this afternoon's post, I receive this charming, but unsolicited image enclosed with a note: "Fiery Beauties await your interest, reply for further converstion." This seems suspect, however the potential reward seems most agreeable. Shall I proceed?
Sir, Ensure all staff know safe use of ladders! One of my maids fell from a height when an improperly latched stepladder collapsed under her. With a broken arm she was unable to resume cleaning duties and following her dismissal, it took me some consider
Sirs, With great anxiety I must request that you rush me an appropriate quantity of the Date Mate 1900 Pheromonotic liquid. Please understand that I request this product for scientific reasons alone. I enclose 10d postal order plus carriage.
Sir, As winter sets in, the fires do remain lit throughout the day and late into the night. I instruct staff to tend frequently to the fires. It is a dirty job, to which Maid Elspeth has a most enlightened solution. I do heartily encourage other maids to
Sir, I was shocked to learn of the recent mis-use of our club's fine Byron room. Patrons are kindly reminded that if you bring whores, strumpets or doxies into our establishment, will you please place a doily beneath them BEFORE you commence rogering th
Sir, With much correspondence, I have hired myself a typewriting maid. It may be imagined that I permit her to work in this manner to prevent ink spoiling her clothing. Not so. I offered her an extra penny an hour if she might type out my letters whilst
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
My new maid from overseas brings with her an unusual custom, and one that I am intrigued to introduce to my other staff. It is a most hygenic practice.
Sir, In Another Place, a question was raised as to where one might see erotic depictions from the 1600's. I have spent a pleasant evening's research in my library, and can provide this pleasant painting from 1590 of a lady who has much to show us.