Sirs and Madames, May I thank you most wholeheartedly for your continuing vigilance in reporting the unwanted promotional material that urchins have been leaving here of late. The lazy maids responsible have been punished.
Sir, A comely lady of many merits did supply to me by post a photolithograph that I at once believed to have been optically modified with a bubble-nancy lens, as is the fashion of to-day. However, upon meeting said lady, I did discover to my great enjoym
My appointment as Foreign Office Deputy Secretary had hardly been published in the Gazette when I received an offer by this charming lady to take a position in my household. I must say, her references are as scant as her apparel, however I believe I shal
Sir, I out to the furniture emporium, to purchase a chaise longue for Lady B___. Upon its delivery, I am most anxious as to it's comfort. I enlist Maid Ellie to advise me as to it's skin feel. "How do you mean, sir?" she enquires.
Unfortunately, Lady B___ did not believe my explanation that the artist girl from the village merely wished to avoid soiling her delicate clothes with paint.
Sir, Upon recommendation from Lord Southborough, I did employ the local wise woman to bring good fortune upon my estate. Visiting upon the evening of Beltane, she did perform a mysterious incantation. It is bunkum and hocus-pocus of course, but I did fin
Will patrons of our fine club be on the lookout for the whereabouts of this blaggard. He calls himself a gentleman, but he is a mere greengrocer and he has been seducing my staff. A role that I should have exclusive rights to.
Sir, Maid Edith has only a hard wooden chair at home. I catch her admiring my soft luxurious furniture. "It do look such comfort to sit upon" she sighs. I offer to show how there is an even better way to enjoy it's softness and luxury against the skin
Sir, it most pleases me to share a photolithograph of my maid Rosie. She is most enthusiastic upon the gentlefolk inspecting her particulars. Daily, she is up at 4:30am to light my fire, I can postulate.
Sir, The season for growing crops is upon us, and the villagers do fear the onslaught of pests that devour. Their ceremony to banish foes of foliage lasts a day and into the night. It is farcical, of course, but some aspects of it do have a cultural inte
Sir, Settling in my library with a glass of brandy, I read a volume purporting to predict the future. Within 150 years, electrical machinery shall revolutionize all manner of daily activity. Studying the illustration brings me great unease. I write to Si
Sir, I recently sent a postal order for 3 guineas to an advertisement in the "personals" section of a gentleman's periodical. "Receive by return post,a photolithograph of a mistress most strict". I may have been hoodwinked.
Sir, following a rewarding meeting with a comely lady,I receive an invitation to send a postal order for 20 shillings to personally receive photolithographs of an intimate nature. I tell Lady B___ that I am off for a stroll to the village. They have fine
