Sirs and Madames, I most cordially welcome our new members who have arrived at the door of our club. All are welcome and I trust you will have an enjoyable stay here. I have instructed the maid to put extra coal on the fire for your comfort.
Sir, a maid had to leave my employ most suddenly, and so I was seeking a speedy replacement. I requested some particulars from the agency, and one candidate had enclosed a photolithograph. Do you know, I think she will be just perfect for the position.
Sir, It is often said that women do not like the hobby of bicycling. I wholeheartedly disagree with this false statement. Here we can clearly see one who is getting much pleasure from her velocipede.
Maid Elsie tells me she wears a hat that she is unable to remove. "Can your other clothes be removed?" I ask. "Why yes sir", and she demonstrates. "But not your hat?" "No, sir." I suspect she has been at the Laudanum again.
Sir, Following an unfortunate encounter with spring and horsehair, Lady B___ instructs me to purchase a new chaise longue with immediate effect. I do take maid Ida to the showroom to assist. "It must not interfere with dress nor skin" I explain. Ida as
Sir, Settling in my library with a glass of brandy, I read a volume purporting to predict the future. Within 150 years, electrical machinery shall revolutionize all manner of daily activity. Studying the illustration brings me great unease. I write to Si
Sir, Lady B___, suspicious of noises within the servants rooms late at night, do decree no visitors past 7pm. I do worry that the maids will miss the attention and comfort from ~~myself~~ unknown suitors, but upon checking their welfare, I discover the m
Sir, I have devised a new system which I believe will double the amount of cleaning that any maid may undertake within a individual working day. Tests are ongoing, under my close scrutiny.
Sir, A new system for "peer assessment" of staff comes to my attention. I am all for modern progress, but I do sometimes prefer the old ways. Or at least permit me to watch the proceedings.
Sir, as a progressive employer I do select each week a maid to live upstairs for the evening. We do drink wine, and enjoy a game of poker. Knowing that my staff do not have great wealth, I suggest alternatives when placing stakes. Win or lose, the game p
Sir, I recently sent a postal order for 3 guineas to an advertisement in the "personals" section of a gentleman's periodical. "Receive by return post,a photolithograph of a mistress most strict". I may have been hoodwinked.
Sir, Upon recommendation from Lord Southborough, I did employ the local wise woman to bring good fortune upon my estate. Visiting upon the evening of Beltane, she did perform a mysterious incantation. It is bunkum and hocus-pocus of course, but I did fin
Will patrons of our fine club be on the lookout for the whereabouts of this blaggard. He calls himself a gentleman, but he is a mere greengrocer and he has been seducing my staff. A role that I should have exclusive rights to.
Sir, My philanthropy is widely known, but today I felt I could go further. With immediate effect I have instigated a penny increase in all female staff wages. Staff merely have to work naked to receive this bonus. (Subject to Lady B___'s absence)
