I'm sometimes asked if I joined the Department of Wild Female Sexuality and Procreation because I was a pervert, or if it was the job that turned me into a pervert. My answer? Yes.
Recently wilded females must be evaluated and checked on regularly to ensure they're adapting well. My job of course is to see if they're receptive to mating. This newcomer was more than happy to receive some male attention, and will likely stick to th
This female nests on the bluffs overlooking a lake. Every morning, she sits at the edge, sunning herself and carefully inspecting the lake. We don’t know exactly what she is looking for, but she always manages to head to the area of the lake where the
The offshore barrier islands that this female calls home have few trees, so driftwood is a valuable commodity. She will drag this branch back to her nest, and wedge it in place to provide shelter from the wind, rain, and sun
If anyone's considering joining the Deptartment Of Wild Female Sexuality and Procreation, keep in mind that our research requires us to be as shameless and uninhibited as the Wild Females themselves, and we mate with one another frequently and freely.
Due to their lack of verbal abilities, touch is very important to wild females. Here we see a newly wild specimen allowing the dominant female to perform a gentle manual inspection. She starts with the hands, and, well... you can probably guess where it
Fit and confident females like this beauty are a high priority for our breeding program, to ensure the next generation of wild females is well-suited to their lifestyle. It's a bit more work for me though, but I'm hardly in a position to complain.
This poor female went feral while she was still wearing her bikini. She seemed annoyed by the constraining fabric but unable to remember how to remove it. Luckily for both of us, she allowed me to get close enough to remove her now-unneeded clothes. (Fie
This beach female fell asleep on the beach during low tide. Awoken by the returning waters wetting her sensitive underside, the female must now hurry to shore if she doesn't want to find herself trapped on this sand bank by the tide.
This fierce little coastal female wanted very little to do with me, begrudgingly allowing me to take measurements in exchange for all of my lunch before scampering off into the safety of the water (32B-24-36, 5’8”)
Each Fall I'm sent deep into the park to breed some of the more reclusive wild females. I found this beauty here squatting in this abandoned building, and judging by her stunned reaction, I wouldn't be surprised if I was the first man she's ever seen.
Not all females who go wild do so in the wild. This beauty here was fully civilized and living in the big city, and just went wild out of the blue. They found her hunting for fish at the marina. Quite fascinating, but we'll relocate her to a coastal hab
This terrain may not be optimal for mating, but these two beauties clearly recognize me and are eager for some affection. Fortunately for them, my willingness to mate in adverse conditions is why I've held my position for as long as I have.
This gorgeous brunette is the undisputed queen of this stretch of beach, which is very valuable real estate indeed. The shoreline is sheltered enough to avoid the largest breakers, making it an easy swim out to the kelp forest where she forages for kelp
Domestic Wild Females should be fed a primary diet of fresh fruits and vegetables, with nuts and seeds for protein. Unless starving, Wild Females favor uncooked and unprocessed food. Be cautious to avoid food poisoning if you give them raw meat as a trea
I'm often out in the reserve for days and sometimes even weeks at a time, always accompanied by at least one female colleague. My presence helps keeps them from going wild themselves, and mating with them makes me more attractive to their wild sisters,
