Glowsticks and LEDs are useful in drawing out Wild Females. This beauty's spotted me now, and I'll have to be careful not to spook her if I'm to mate with her.
If anyone's considering joining the Deptartment Of Wild Female Sexuality and Procreation, keep in mind that our research requires us to be as shameless and uninhibited as the Wild Females themselves, and we mate with one another frequently and freely.
This beach female fell asleep on the beach during low tide. Awoken by the returning waters wetting her sensitive underside, the female must now hurry to shore if she doesn't want to find herself trapped on this sand bank by the tide.
The offshore barrier islands that this female calls home have few trees, so driftwood is a valuable commodity. She will drag this branch back to her nest, and wedge it in place to provide shelter from the wind, rain, and sun
This female nests on the bluffs overlooking a lake. Every morning, she sits at the edge, sunning herself and carefully inspecting the lake. We don’t know exactly what she is looking for, but she always manages to head to the area of the lake where the
This gorgeous brunette is the undisputed queen of this stretch of beach, which is very valuable real estate indeed. The shoreline is sheltered enough to avoid the largest breakers, making it an easy swim out to the kelp forest where she forages for kelp
Based on how she was waiting expectantly for me, I can only assume I've mated with this wild female before, though I can't seem to recall her. That's a little embarrassing, considering how much I adore wild females, but thankfully she'll never know a
Due to their lack of verbal abilities, touch is very important to wild females. Here we see a newly wild specimen allowing the dominant female to perform a gentle manual inspection. She starts with the hands, and, well... you can probably guess where it
This brunette beauty is hunting for amphibians in this shallow creek. She must keep perfectly still to avoid scaring off her quarry. After about a half hour of waiting, with whip quickness, she strikes, pulling a wriggling salamander from the water. (Fie
This stunning lady right here is our wrangler, for dealing with aggressive or territorial wild females. It's less traumatic for them and better optics for us to have a woman do it. Very good optics, I must say.
This fierce little coastal female wanted very little to do with me, begrudgingly allowing me to take measurements in exchange for all of my lunch before scampering off into the safety of the water (32B-24-36, 5’8”)
When a wild female gains weight (usually from too many hand outs), it concentrates in their hips and breasts, resulting in a voluptuous, exaggerated hourglass figure. They're best able to reproduce when they have surplus fat reserves, and are advertisin
Wild Females are often thought of as creatures of pure instinct, but it seems this beauty here is putting some serious thought into whether or not to mate with me. The mind of a Wild Female is a strange but not necessarily simple thing.
Our trail cameras caught a tall blonde wading through this pool. While her eyes are focused on the water, searching for prey, you can tell that she is not actively hunting. It would be difficult for her to strike quickly when standing – if she was hunt
I'm sometimes asked if I joined the Department of Wild Female Sexuality and Procreation because I was a pervert, or if it was the job that turned me into a pervert. My answer? Yes.
