Sir, In this modern age I feel we have lost sight of the origins of All Hallows Eve, to whit : devil worship and punishing naked servants. Fortunately, I run a very traditional estate where traditional rituals are strictly observed.
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
On this afternoon's post, I receive this charming, but unsolicited image enclosed with a note: "Fiery Beauties await your interest, reply for further converstion." This seems suspect, however the potential reward seems most agreeable. Shall I proceed?
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sir, Lady B___ is most pleased with our new maid, who cleans diligently and does not steal nor shirk. I too am most pleased with our new hire. On receipt of an extra shilling, she do work sans vêtements on Fridays whilst Lady B___ is away.
Sir, In Another Place, a question was raised as to where one might see erotic depictions from the 1600's. I have spent a pleasant evening's research in my library, and can provide this pleasant painting from 1590 of a lady who has much to show us.
Darling Emma, I am surging along with your life blood, coursing through the secret places of your body. I wish to escape from you but I am harried from place to place in my thots. I cannot escape from the rhythmic spurt of your love juice.
Sir, a maid had to leave my employ most suddenly, and so I was seeking a speedy replacement. I requested some particulars from the agency, and one candidate had enclosed a photolithograph. Do you know, I think she will be just perfect for the position.
Sir, A tiring day admonishing servants for their wanton idleness. I retire to my library with a brandy. Lady B___ dislikes old books, which she insists serve no purpose except the gathering of dust. Yet there is so much to learn from studying the old tex
Sirs and Madames, following the great success of our club, I have instigated the renovation of the East Wing and specifically, the withdrawing room. I enclose an artist's impression as to it's decor and projected use, which I personally endorse.
Sir, Lady B___ is most pleased with our new maid, who cleans diligently and does not steal nor shirk. I too am most pleased with our new hire. On receipt of an extra shilling, she do work sans vêtements on Fridays whilst Lady B___ is away.
Sir, Lady B___ complains at length that her looking-glass be all distorted. I at once do attend to the problem. With Maid Hettie assisting, I spend 2 hours, perhaps more, diligently studying the mirror glass from all angles, but have to declare that it i
Sirs, With great anxiety I must request that you rush me an appropriate quantity of the Date Mate 1900 Pheromonotic liquid. Please understand that I request this product for scientific reasons alone. I enclose 10d postal order plus carriage.