The offshore barrier islands that this female calls home have few trees, so driftwood is a valuable commodity. She will drag this branch back to her nest, and wedge it in place to provide shelter from the wind, rain, and sun
We believe this secretive pair of females make their nest high on the cliffs, safe from anyone who would bother them. The nest is hard to find and harder to get to, and the females want nothing to do with anyone else, including myself. It must be the per
This terrain may not be optimal for mating, but these two beauties clearly recognize me and are eager for some affection. Fortunately for them, my willingness to mate in adverse conditions is why I've held my position for as long as I have.
I'm sometimes asked if I joined the Department of Wild Female Sexuality and Procreation because I was a pervert, or if it was the job that turned me into a pervert. My answer? Yes.
This stunning lady right here is our wrangler, for dealing with aggressive or territorial wild females. It's less traumatic for them and better optics for us to have a woman do it. Very good optics, I must say.
Not all females who go wild do so in the wild. This beauty here was fully civilized and living in the big city, and just went wild out of the blue. They found her hunting for fish at the marina. Quite fascinating, but we'll relocate her to a coastal hab
Based on how she was waiting expectantly for me, I can only assume I've mated with this wild female before, though I can't seem to recall her. That's a little embarrassing, considering how much I adore wild females, but thankfully she'll never know a
Each Fall I'm sent deep into the park to breed some of the more reclusive wild females. I found this beauty here squatting in this abandoned building, and judging by her stunned reaction, I wouldn't be surprised if I was the first man she's ever seen.
Though most Wild Females stick to foraging, fishing, or scavenging, here we see one in active pursuit of prey. Her necklace indicates she's likely a semi-feral, so it's possible she acquired and retained her hunting skills from her civilized life. Trul
This female nests on the bluffs overlooking a lake. Every morning, she sits at the edge, sunning herself and carefully inspecting the lake. We don’t know exactly what she is looking for, but she always manages to head to the area of the lake where the
This beach female fell asleep on the beach during low tide. Awoken by the returning waters wetting her sensitive underside, the female must now hurry to shore if she doesn't want to find herself trapped on this sand bank by the tide.
Glowsticks and LEDs are useful in drawing out Wild Females. This beauty's spotted me now, and I'll have to be careful not to spook her if I'm to mate with her.
Update: The contemplative female joined up with her pride, who still seem just as unsure about mating with me. These are likely all wild born, and wary of men. Perhaps they'll be more receptive to me come mating season in a few weeks.
If anyone's considering joining the Deptartment Of Wild Female Sexuality and Procreation, keep in mind that our research requires us to be as shameless and uninhibited as the Wild Females themselves, and we mate with one another frequently and freely.
This gorgeous brunette is the undisputed queen of this stretch of beach, which is very valuable real estate indeed. The shoreline is sheltered enough to avoid the largest breakers, making it an easy swim out to the kelp forest where she forages for kelp
